It's been awhile, but this is perhaps a good outlet for the stress and chaos of finals that seems to be dictating things right now. .Forgive me ahead of time if this turns into rambling. 
                        Advent is in full swing. It feels like it should be autumn or that school just started.. Christmas has a bad habit of sneaking up on me. I have several pressing issues on my mind--None of which I feel that I have any power or control over. Sometimes I just feel like I need to hit the 'reset button' or take the proverbial get away. Life isn't always that easy though, and sometimes it is best to stay in the trenches, fight for what you believe you want or do all you can to know that the best possible result has been found. 
        I finished my Ph.D. applications and much like two years ago I have found myself at a crossroads. Sometimes I think life would be easier if I had a roadmap, and I wasn't swimming in the ocean in what I think is the right direction using the sun for navigation...Everyone always patronizes the sun. The next two months are going to be hard. A break that is full of thesis work, misplaced from friends and back home for a bit. And all the while I wait for people hundreds of miles away to shape my professional fate. 

      I can say that this semester has brought several good surprises. People mainly. A wise fifteen year old girl once told me that everyone comes into your life for A REASON, SEASON, or LIFETIME.. While having this knowledge seems to create a slight advantage for those who understand this, it still never gives you better insight into what's going through the minds of others.  

    I have one more paper to finish as well as one more final exam to sit for. I can't wait to shift my complete focus to thesis. It will be my next chance to really prove my self, and I feel like my topic is actually important and could really change how we understand the architectural world. 

As for  now, I will be keeping the blog up over the holidays to,, 'get it all out'. It'll mainly be full of the rhetoric of bad patience and frustrations that I can not yet open the minds of the ones that I have feelings for and see what in the hell is running through them. I think that time is my biggest enemy and yet, when it comes to leaving this place, my biggest ally.