I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze. But I, I think maybe it's both, maybe both happening at the same time. -Forrest Gump

I had quite a shock tonight as I found out that a family friend has been diagnosed with Acute Leukemia. The news took me by surprise, as if to be a seemingly random incident with devastating repercussions, but it's something far more complex than just lumping negative news into a category. The negative-seemingly random-events most people experience or hear of in life usually are discounted by a theory of karma or justice, but what about the negative events that are inexplicably non-justified. Not deserved. Not supported by fate. Or Karma. Or any other governing principle of the Universe.

While I was sick in Barcelona I wrote in a sketchbook about my illness, life, and the fact that I was faced with the reality of ephemerality. How life just simply doesn't last.

I couldn't even wrap my mind or words around the afterlife, not because it was too hard to swallow but because my understanding of the world that I live in was so ignorant-so lacking-that to begin to think about afterward would have been a waste of time. As if my imagination didn't stretch that far. I quickly accepted the struggle, and the reality that life was temporary, BUT now my body was fighting to keep what it was so used to -life. Even when the fight got to be too hard I constantly reminded myself that what is after is only a new...a new adventure. New place. The next page in the book. The next experience or scene. The next stage for the character.

Those who read this blog know that I struggle often with the idea of predestination vs. chance.. free will... the random.. If life is all planned out, sometimes the plan is too hard for us to understand. Sometimes the plan is shocking, and sometimes the plan STINKS..

It's times like these that I want the random to be a reality. That this tragic occurrence was not the planning of a higher power, not the will of God, not the way it was suppose to happen. I want to be able to justify it with internal torment and declare the devastation -the sadness of the world. Or the tragic result of an unfair 'deck of cards' or rather cards that were dealt random, when a bad hand was received.

The new year is upon us, and while existence continues, be it the planning of an all powerful god or the complete random happenings of the universe, I hope and pray that this year is a better one bringing peace for those hurting and even a moment of fresh air for those who are struggling with health issues.Below is my favorite version of Auld Lang Syne. It's by a contemporary band named Relient K. I like this song because it makes me understand the movement and passing of time, I hear it once a year at new years. It evokes reflection, examination of self, and a deeper realization that just for a second I should stop and realize around me what I have. I hope this song does the same for you.

Finals are over. People are going home for the holidays, and I feel like break is moving too fast..

When I was at SCAD Christmas meant that my break was over and that I had to go back to class soon, but now that my holiday break is mostly in January I'm really confused about what I should be feeling..

I've already finished the first book in the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins. I'm planning to start the second after Christmas, because I don't wanna start it and not be able to put it down during the holiday festivities..I'm also posting the trailer to the movie that is scheduled to be in theaters this March. I can't wait... and I def. want more of the story.

The basic premise of first book -as you can understand from the trailer- is that the 13 districts of Panem(country in what is left of NorthAmerica) lost in a rebellion against the capitol and as a punishment they must give two tributes(boy and girl) to the Hunger Games, where the kids are put in a constructed arena and made to fight to the death. The book is intense..

Finals are killing me...More when I get out of the chaos of deadlines.

Until then check out this song-it's my jam.

Lighting of the Lawn

I had the opportunity of attending the lighting of the lawn with several of my fellow classmates tonight. We had warm cider and cookies at the room(on the lawn) of one of our undergraduate friends while we listened to several of the university's acapella groups. It was an extremely festive and communal event that made me feel oneness with the student body.. Just before the lighting of the lights a poem, written by students at the University, was read. It briefly summarized or acknowledged each class just before the lights were lit. There were also some really neat ice sculptures placedthroughout the lawn.